A whole day of silence.

Trying so hard to make a conversation happen, or see a smile or a lil laugh.. But I was a complete failure. It was supposedly a day to reconnect. A day to make things better for both of us. But nothing was better.

We didnt talk. We kept silent. And this silence of his meant a lot to me. I realised how sad he is of what I said. I also realised that I should never ever express myself openly.

I learned that women are filled with filthy hormones that make us lose our partners. And the solution is, "Never Talk" when angry. I'd rather bang myself in the wall than be in this state for a week.

I'm sorry I was stupid. I kept quite and kept waiting for something to happen, and when nothing happened, I started wondering what's wrong. And as usual, I figured out all what could be wrong that revolved around me. And after a long while, I let it out all on him, and now, I've gained the consequences of revealing my inner frustrations. He doesnt talk to me. He is always frowning, doesnt have anything to say. He doesnt look at my anymore. We spend a lot of time in silence. And not just any silence, the Awkward state of Silence.

Anyway, and the lesson learned is, I will never ever talk when I'm upset or angry. I will just keep the anger and frustration to myself. Maybe share it with my friends or mum, but not with him. And I shouldnt be wanting him to do anything for me, or expecting anything from him. I should be doing everything on my own. And I should seriously get used to that. I should never show I'm sad or upset or disappointed. And if I am, I will spend sometime alone in my cave till I recover from my problems and return back to my normal state of being.

I'm so sorry. It turns out i'm just a woman. I freak-out like everybody else, I lack esteem most of the time, I'm jealous, and I fear your leaving me. So, I'm gonna back off, give you your space, and give myself mine.