The embrace

Even though I was crying, blowing my nose, sweaty, depressed and unshaved, he still said he loves me...
I'm not intending to be all of the above ugly things. I am just clarifying that, although I was in the worst of situations, he still took me in his arms, and eased the worries away.

I kept crying for two days (the drama queen within me was OUT THERE!)...
And of course, I shared it all with him. I was afraid he would freak out or stop loving me after seeing me like this. But, he just took me in his arms... The strongest and best embrace a woman would ever dream of having from the man she loves... And it was all I needed; to be alone, with him, in his arms and crying. I wanted him to end those endless worries I had in my head. I wanted it to wash the trouble away. I didn't ask him for it, but he did. He just did.

I wanted to stay there forever, in his arms, closing my eyes and thinking of nothing but his warm embrace. I love him. All of him. Nobody else but him..

I kept thinking of how to please them.
I felt trapped trying to avoid upsetting them.
It was a struggle between two men that I'm in love with.
The person that brought me up into the person I am, and the person I am about to live with for the coming life. And I was unable to figure out which one to please.

And all of a sudden I decided to be selfish enough to just do what "I" want to do. Why do I have to resort in the end to pleasing someone over myself. Why do I always favor the happiness of others over mine? I admit I love making them both happy and I hope I'm good at it. But I can sometimes work on making myself happy for a change.

They both have been the best at making me happy. but still, I felt like in this particular situation, I wanna do what I want to do, rather than anything else.

I am sorry

Six weeks and three days..

I am getting married in Six weeks and Three days...

And why I am going through this process?

To be able to see him every morning and night. To work on making him happy and satisfied. To experience ultimate pleasure. To create a family. To have a new home. To be able to cuddle up, hold hands, sit by him in the movies under his arms, and kiss him whenever I want to. To eat with him, have fun with him, cry with him, share his every inch of life, and have kids with him...

I am getting married because it is the dream of every girl to find a person to spend the coming life with. I am getting married because I love him more than anything in the world. I'm getting married because I just want to experience everything that I've been longing for with him. I'm getting married because he makes me laugh, wipes out my tears, listen to my continuous nonesense, takes me to the movies and gets me ice-cream :)

I'm getting married in Six weeks and Three days. I'm going to wear the white dress and dance for the first time in my life with the person I love. I am going to wear my first diamond ring, I am going to have a new home and belong to a great person. I love being his and belonging to him. I am scared, but I know that he will make it all perfect just the way he is.