And whatever I say will not explain the extent of happiness I am experiencing from being overly exposed to his 'pure awesomeness'...
And no matter what, I never have enough of this 'awesomeness' of his...
I am blessed, I am in heaven, I am lucky... And I am so in love with him...

I love it all... His smile drives me nutts, and his frown makes me wanna kill anything making him sad... His tickling me and making me laugh like crazy is just the best game... His aggressiveness and his tenderness... His innocence as well as the experienced side of him... I love it, every single bit of it and I never have enough of his 'pure awesomeness'..

I wish I would be with him forever... I never ever wanna let go of that heaven I have with him...
He is my world.. The best world I ever had

Please get me outta here

And I ended up losing my temper as usual.

It is becoming intolerable over the days..

Being responsible for stuff related not just to one person, two, but six including your own...

It becomes annoying and unbearable...

And if you unconsiously complain, you become a bad daughter...

I am simply unable to "give" anymore at this point of my life to those particular people...

I am tired of my spoiled sister who makes me go to work late everyday just because she is lazy and again, spoiled. I am tired of my mum having to make me drive her son and wait for him when he is two times my size, just because she is worried he might get kidnapped or mugged. He is 14 and HUGE... I take him with me to places as a source of protection and she still fears his taking a cab at night...

I am tired of my mum loading me with her emotional issues. I love her so much, but too much complaining and drama makes me wanna quit this house all together... I am tired of her tests, x-rays, pills, doctors appointments, worries, pains... I am sick of it all and I'm tired of listening to her never ending health worries...

I want to take a break. I want to miss them. I want to find myself away from them for a little while, maybe then I could miss them.

Today, I felt so pressured and was about to shout at them all and throw them out of my car. They fight all the way home, they complain, they force me into things, they dont like the music I'm listening to, they complain that it is taking us a lot of time to go home, they just keep complaining and complaining and it just fills me with more anger towards every single one of them... I just wish those coming 4 months to end fast. I simply cannot take it anymore...

Its like I had a nightmare
No... It's more like someone had to jump for a hundred times over my chest...
It's like a load... A really heavy one...
It is something I really hate, fear, and do not tolerate...
Although it takes me 2 minutes, and sometimes less, but I still hate it...

I am used to being forced into doing things that I hate doing, but this particular task (and I mean it when I refer to it as a task) is like the worst case of enforcement... It's like torture... It's like being asked to throw your whole body in front of a truck... It is horrifying...
I know I'm magnifying it 3000 times...

And although I am someone who likes being obedient and forgiving, I seem to transform into an evil person when it comes to this particular piece of sacrifice that I have to perform against my will...

It also turns out that there are more future silly and killer sacrifices to come... And this is just the start...