I hate this place.
It is over crowded, it is tiny, it's dirty, its loaded with insects, its broken all over and its not my place anymore. I don't like living here anymore. I don't belong here. And I am not welcomed.

She has always been a pain in the ass. I tolerated all her silliness, messiness and abuse for years. And she still doesn't have a single bit of sensitivity or gratefulness. She will never stop being selfish and rude. She will never change.

I don't like it here. And I don't like that I am so unsettled. I want to go back to my safe place. My place of tranquility and comfort. I hate it here. I hate being here. I hate coming here. I hate that I have to do everything with limits and restrictions.

I can't feel comfortable anymore. I can't feel like I'm home. I really want to go home. I want to have the courage to just leave.

Confessions

I am an Egyptian
I used to work in the Egyptian government that was denounced last year.
I am proud I used to work there. I love the Minister I used to work with. I liked all the decisions, laws, and regulations he implemented. I admire his achievements, character, enthusiasm and knowledge. I still believe in him. I love everyone that used to work with him and for him. I used to belong to the old regime.

I never hated our "used to be" President. But I hated the fact that he wanted to 'grant' the presidency of my country to his son. I also hated when he blocked all the streets so that he can go somewhere.

I hated the revolution, not because they removed the president, but because there were smugglers, thieves everywhere. I hated it when the protesters stayed in Tahrir even after the late president announced that he will leave in September.

I hated when people died in Tahrir. I hated it because I knew how their parents and families felt hearing the news and living with it everyday. I put myself in their shoes and it scares me every night before I sleep that I would wake up one day realizing that I lost someone close to my heart.

I hated the revolution because it denounced the Police and the Army. I am not fond of BOTH. And I am sure that both were the reason for the torture and killing of so many innocent people. But I am against the chaos we are living in now. I am against the lack of security. I hate that I have to drive every day worrying that I might die and leave my one year old son behind. I am always afraid that I lose my husband who travels a lot because of work. I am always scared that someone would break into our house, kill us and steal everything. I am scared at the mall that someone would kidnap my son. I am scared 24/7. And trust me, it is the worst feeling ever, to feel unsafe in your own home, car, neighborhood, country.

I hate the 6th of April movement and I totally believe they are traitors and are the reason for all this mess.

I hate the Army because they are not doing anything about the 6th of April movement.

I voted "Yes" for making amendments to the constitution. And I voted for the 'Freedom & Justice" party in Parliament and I made those choices voluntarily. I am no part of the MB, but I liked their program and I am hoping that they would change my country to the better.

I hated when people were against me when I voted for F&J, because they made me feel like I am a bad person, when they should just accept my choice.

I don't like that people are still protesting and I don't like that many of them are dying because of those protesters, and I would really hope they'd all go home and we'd elect our new president in June peacefully. I believe in democracy, freedom, and choice, but I don't like people burning buildings, books, human beings, and history. Mubarak will still be our president in history, even if we change the name of the metro station or destroy things that have his name on them. History will not delete him. So stop ruining things.

I love Christians. I always had Christian friends and colleagues. And their having a different religion from mine doesn't mean that they are bad or wrong. We both worship God differently.

I was happy when I watched the first parliament meeting. I was happy when I heard the speech of the president of the parliament. I mean, I elected this parliament. It is the first elected parliament. I should be happy and proud right?

I hate that people are always insulting each other; I hate all the jokes and insults on facebook directed to MB and Salafis. Begad 3eeb w kefaya. Didn't we have free elections? Why the hell are you still insulting them. The people elected them freely, so shut the hell up and accommodate.

I hate the Americans and the Israelis and I believe that they are the main players in this filthy game that is messing up my country and messed up Iraq, Iran, Libya, Syria, and Yemen (Hope I didn't forget the rest of the countries in the region).

I was in total shock when I heard about the killings of Port Said. 71 people died for no reason at all. And all I could think of, where is the army? Where is the police? Where is justice?

I hate the Civil Disobedience initiative that everyone is so obsessed about because if people didn't work, then they don't deserve their salaries. Then we won't find bread to eat, we won't find water to drink, or electricity, or someone to collect our garbage or clean up our houses, streets and offices. We won't find someone to sell us groceries, or put us cash in the ATM machines, or protect our homes and offices. There will be no doctors to cure us, no pharmacies to sell us meds, and list goes on forever.

I am waiting for the presidential elections. Can't wait to finally feel secure again. Yes, security is the ONLY thing I want right now. I am selfish and I want everyone to be safe and I don't want to hear anymore about killings or kidnappings.

I am sorry if my opinion offends you, but it is my opinion and I am not imposing it on anyone.