You are there but Never there!

Alone. Not in the "loneliness sense"..
I have a partner and a family as well as friends.
Alone in the sense that, I'm doing it on my own.

I have no back up, no support, I cant lean on him or depend on him in any sense of the word.
Its not like I need anything from him, I know I can do it on my own.
I know I dont need him or anything.
I know I can be totally independent.
I know I'm capable of doing it alone.
But I also know that like all girls, I need him.
The protector, the supporter, the manhood in my life..
Why am I all concerned about the issue when I know for sure that he has nothing to do about it.
He has been helpless for ages now. And all I can do is pray God to help him.
Sometimes my prayers are answered, and sometimes they are a little late. But I know they're for the best.

I also know that I shouldnt be feeling that way. I should be more understanding.
But I simply can't. I'm always worried and sad that I'm not like them all. I'm all by myself although he is here. But he is not there for me anymore.
He always claims that I shouldnt be feeling that way. Making me feel like I'm mistaken. Making me feel like I can't do anything without him. But the truth is, I am well and capable of doing everything without him, because he is there, but never there.