I wish they could all back off me.
I need a break from their neediness, their endless requests, their complete involvement in my life.
I am tired of her always depending on me in every single detail of my life. I am tired of her pressurizing me like that. I hate it when she wants to decide on the furniture I'm choosing for my own house. I am tired when she presumes that she is helping me out, when all she is doing is ruin things between me and dad. I am tired of my dad always being jealous like a kid. I am tired of him ignoring me all the time. I am tired of his uselessness and dependence. I am tired of his inability to calm me down and make me feel like he will do everything he can to make this work out. I am tired of his always being angry, shouting, mocking me, control, and silly humor. I am tired of the whole family all together...
I am stressed out, worried, scared, terrified, and nobody is helping; they are actually increasing the amount of stress and worry I'm feeling. Instead of making it easier, they are simply finding their ways to press harder on my chest and it is a killer.
And the thing is, whenever I ask for help and support, they confuse me even more; mum denounces all the decisions that I have already made and Dad presumes that I don't need him, as I am an independent grown up woman. And when I decide that I will not seek their advice and do it on my own, they accuse me of letting them out of my life and depriving them of their right to control my life.
I thought that their role was to make it easier on me. To guide me to whatever that will make me happy. To give as much as they can to make things work out right. But I just realized that all I've been thinking of lately was how to please them, and make them happy about every single step I am taking, although I shouldn't. I have been doing this all on my own lately. Nine months without any form of support from them. Actually, with all my self sustained efforts, they still complain and make my life even harder. So why please them when they are always disappointing me.
Finally, I am a drama queen. I also freak out when I am going through something new all alone. Moreover, I am emotional, irrational, hormonal, jealous, a planned and organized freak, and quite energetic. I am sorry if I am like that, but that is just me and I am also sorry cause I tried so hard to change all of them and I couldn't.
I need a break from their neediness, their endless requests, their complete involvement in my life.
I am tired of her always depending on me in every single detail of my life. I am tired of her pressurizing me like that. I hate it when she wants to decide on the furniture I'm choosing for my own house. I am tired when she presumes that she is helping me out, when all she is doing is ruin things between me and dad. I am tired of my dad always being jealous like a kid. I am tired of him ignoring me all the time. I am tired of his uselessness and dependence. I am tired of his inability to calm me down and make me feel like he will do everything he can to make this work out. I am tired of his always being angry, shouting, mocking me, control, and silly humor. I am tired of the whole family all together...
I am stressed out, worried, scared, terrified, and nobody is helping; they are actually increasing the amount of stress and worry I'm feeling. Instead of making it easier, they are simply finding their ways to press harder on my chest and it is a killer.
And the thing is, whenever I ask for help and support, they confuse me even more; mum denounces all the decisions that I have already made and Dad presumes that I don't need him, as I am an independent grown up woman. And when I decide that I will not seek their advice and do it on my own, they accuse me of letting them out of my life and depriving them of their right to control my life.
I thought that their role was to make it easier on me. To guide me to whatever that will make me happy. To give as much as they can to make things work out right. But I just realized that all I've been thinking of lately was how to please them, and make them happy about every single step I am taking, although I shouldn't. I have been doing this all on my own lately. Nine months without any form of support from them. Actually, with all my self sustained efforts, they still complain and make my life even harder. So why please them when they are always disappointing me.
Finally, I am a drama queen. I also freak out when I am going through something new all alone. Moreover, I am emotional, irrational, hormonal, jealous, a planned and organized freak, and quite energetic. I am sorry if I am like that, but that is just me and I am also sorry cause I tried so hard to change all of them and I couldn't.
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