What should a bride-to-be feel like during her engagement period?

Probably happy. Excited about preparations. Exctied about settlement and being with the "one".

It is supposedly a period to be enjoyed. The best part of a girl's world. The only part when she is all spoiled and treated like a lady. Before and after that period is just normal life.

So, why isnt it like that for me? I'm always sad or worried about something. It's like nothing is going right. NOTHING is actually happening. Nothing is going smoothly. Nothing is fun. I keep waiting and waiting. Worrying about every single person involved in this marriage. Trying so hard to organize and plan things. Trying hard to please everyone. But nothing is changing. Nothing is moving on. I'm just right there at step number one. And all I'm doing is planning and fighting and worrying and crying.

Am I such a bitch?

Am I turning into a drama queen? Or maybe I already am one.

Most of the time I think that I shouldnt be feeling that way. But maybe I should.

I hate me.