I am clingy, jealous, and emotional

I hate women and I always hated being one.

I never appreciated or accepted anything about being a woman.

I tried so hard to avoid being jealous, emotional, irrational, over sensitive, clingy, and insecure...

But today, I realised I cannot avoid being all that, cause this is just my nature... Although I hate all those stupid qualities, I cannot simply change them. I always suppress them, but after a while they just all burst out of me and show the woman that I really am...

And although I never ever liked being a woman, I am starting to think that I should start accepting it because I still have a life to live with my insecure nature... I have to live with whatever I am...

Today, I was so jealous and insecure as usual... I couldn't help it... As usual I was burning deep inside. But I was good enough to hide it all as if I had nothing kept inside of me... I hope he didn't feel it in my tone of voice... And I hope I just forget and get over it... I was all emotional too and since I did not feel any emotions back, I decided to back off and put aside those emotions for sometime... I wish I could learn that too much emotions is boring and annoying...

I was also clingy in a stupid way. I felt so incomplete and insecure because I am away... And I decided not to feel that way because it is painful and one-sided... I decided to just let go...