Marriage War!

To all girls out there, marriage is like war

You get to live a war of families, a war of in-laws, a war within the family itself, and a special war with the father of the bride.. My father!

For a second I realised how controlled my life is. Everything about the marriage is controlled by 6 or more people. Every decision I have to make is bound to being agreed upon by all the 6 people. I thought it was hard for just me and my partner to agree on a particular issue, but then I realised how tough it is to have the whole army agree on something.

The apartment is where the war began. I realised that every single detail is a source of debate, concern, fight, disagreement, and some sort of sadness at the end, because one of the 6 people have to sacrifice his ideas/power/control over the rest and accept an idea that is not his/hers.

What bothers me is that I feel controlled. Logically speaking, I'm the one who will be stuck in this apartment forever, so it should be me and my partner deciding on everything. But the parents tend to forget that matter, and start imposing their ideas and forcing us into them and I know that in the end, I will be living in a place with a million things that I really hate.

Should I be concerned? Should I worry? Should I be enraged? I should of course, but will I be heard? Of course not. And I simply have to keep the war going so that I end up married. The apartment is one issue in the war of marriage and going on with the rest of the list means I'm gonna die by the end of the engagement period.

The father of the bride is a completely different and difficult war. And his war is a killer. He is my main source of misery and pain. His jealousy is different compared to any of the other members of the war. He tends to make me feel like I will do it all by myself. I don't belong to him anymore because I chose a guy that will take me from him. He sees me as the most precious thing he's got and he simply doesn't accept the idea of letting me go. And accordingly, he is showing no interest or concern in anything but controlling my life. Not the normal control, an even worse one. I feel like I'm a teenager all over again and he is raising me from scratch. Yesterday, I was fed up of his negativity. I was fed up of his not being concerned. I was fed up of his being upset about things going on in the apartment that he doesnt like. I was fed up of his not doing anything for me to make this marriage work. He is either fighting with me (and only me) or keeping quite and passive. He is either so controlling and jealous in a freaky way, or leaving me deal with the hassle all by myself.

Besides that, I have the mother of the groom, who is obviously so hard to please. She seems to be just like my father, controlling and freaked out that her son is going to leave soon. And since I have to make her "like" me, it takes a deadly effort that is usually a failure. And since I am always feeling like a theif, I have to prove otherwise. It's a killer to realise how "you" can be the source of all the war. And in order to reach the goal, you have to live every single moment of that war.

I am sometimes tolerant of such nonesense. But other times, I burst in tears knowing that no one will ever hear me. Yesterday, I was so out of love with my father, crying my eyes out from his childish acts and passivity. And the deadly news was when I realised that I'm the only one living and affected by this mess. I'm the bride who should be happy that she's getting married, but the war is all I can see. The only happiness I encounter is when we're alone; just me and him alone.

"SIGH"