Tell me, ya Om El Donia, what is it that you want from me?
I've been living on your land for almost 27 years now and I still don't understand the mentality of your people.
I've been brought up in a religious house, where prayer and wearing the veil are the main pillars. We were taught to obey, to respect, to be honest, never to lie, and to work hard. I was also taught to deal with the opposite sex in a certain manner. My father always forbade me from going out with my guy friends, talking to them over the phone and creating any kind of close friendship with them. In the same time, I was in a mixed school for all my life. And not just any mixed school, it was one of the very famous "open-minded" schools in Cairo. Then, I was lucky enough to be a student and a graduate of the American University in Cairo, which is famous in Egypt for it's unbehaved students and attitudes. I saw people (males and females) hugging, kissing, making out, wearing revealing clothes, flirting with professors, dating at the age of 11.

And since my home was a strict one, I never dated and I was forced to wear the veil on my 12th birthday. I remember that day, all my friends went to the pool together (boys and girls) and I went with them, but my dad wouldnt allow me to wear a bathing suit and swim with them cause there were boys. And at 8pm on that day, I wore the veil. And he gave me then LE 100 as a prize for being a good girl.

The first time I called a guy over the phone was when I first had my cell phone. I was 17 yrs old by then. I never had a boy friend. The first true failed relationship I had was when I was 22 yrs old. I was too old to know whats wrong and whats right. I went out with him like 4 to 5 times in a whole year and that was it. I was so scared of being seen in public, although all my friends were used to dating and all these things. But I was never introduced to this world of relationships.

And when I finally, at the age of 26, got OFFICIALLY engaged, wearing an engagement ring, and going out in public with my official fiance', I realise that the public does not accept "ME" in particular and my fiance holding hands or sitting close to each other in a cafe.

Yesterday, I was in one of the famous cafes in Cairo, sitting with my finance, each on a separate chair, but the chairs where by each other's side, and he was holding my hand. And after ordering, the waiter called my fiance, and asked us to sit in a more "decent" way because people are complaining.

I felt oppressed. The whole society is unfair to me. When I am finally in a relationship that is Official, they still accuse me of things that I don't do. And all I see everywhere, are people holding hands, hugging, wearing the worst of clothes, having the worst behavior and attitude, and the society still tyrannizes ME. I hate Egyptians. They seem to annoy people holding hands, but refuse to believe that Egypt has gays and lesbians and hookers. I hate you all Egyptians. You seem to contradict yourself. And I have to blame my parents for the confusion I am facing right now. I don't know who I am. Am I the religious behaved girl? Or the one who got kicked out of a cafe by some nobody because of misbehaving by holding my fiance's hand?

You betrayed me ya "Om el Donia" and I am so ashamed of you..